Thank you Vinodh_Kumar V

I will go ahead and check the guide you posted. EDIT: That's just basic Windows driver 101 tips...I already described in my first post that I did all of that. I will describe it again (not the order in which I did those things):

[FAST & EASY] If you struggle to connect your Xbox Controller for PC to Windows. To install Xbox One controller PC driver for Windows 7, follow the simple.

1.Cleaned registry & and tried getting the wireless dongle to work

2.Uninstalled/reinstalled the Xbox One Controller driver & and tried getting the wireless dongle to work

3.Installing the driver through device manager automatically & and tried getting the wireless dongle to work

4.Installing the driver through device manager manually by either choosing the Xbox One Controller driver file or using a preinstalled set of Network adapter / USB / Xbox drivers & and tried getting the wireless dongle to work

5.Switched the receiver to 7 different USB ports (both 2.0 and 3.0) & and tried getting the wireless dongle to work

6. EXCHANGED THE THING AT THE RETAILER WHICH DIDN'T WORK AS WELL!

->Nothing worked, the device always showed up under 'Other devices' menu in device manager with a yellow exclamation mark next to it and was named 'XBOX ACC'. And don't even get me started on those 100s of restarts I had to make!

Please notice that I am, BY FAR, not the only one having this problem. Here is just a small selection of links with people that have my exact same issue:

Mini Series On Netflix

http://forums.xbox.com/xbox_support/xbox_on_windows_support/f/5412.aspx (this forum is full of complaints)

Connecting Xbox One Controller To Pc

https://www.reddit.com/r/pcgaming/comments/3pe1kk/did_anyones_xbox_one_wireless_adapter_for_windows/ (that's my topic but many other people report the issue in the comments)

Xbox 360 Controller Driver Windows 10

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLv0GGIM_cQ (many people report the same driver issue in comments)